AWESOME NEWS!

So my mom has finished her chemotherapy treatments on December 23rd, 2009!! Best Christmas present ever!

Next step... radiation... I'm not too sure how radiation therapy works, but the doctor gave my mom some teeny tiny tattoos on her missing breast... I guess they use the markings to laser and KILL cancer cells & shrink tumors. Hopefully this will work!!

Below is a website that describes what radiation therapy is (in case you are not too sure what it is):

What is radiation therapy?

HORRAY & congratulations mom!! :) xoxoxox

An email from my mom...

I decided to show my mom this blog today.. so I sent her the link via email. This is the email I got from her in response to her seeing my blog:

Hi Shana,

I have to tell you that when I opened your blog and read it, I cried. I had been having a bad week – I caught Tony’s cold although for me it wasn’t a cold. I had nothing to fight anything it off so I ended up with laryngitis and pink eye in both eyes. I hope that I will be able to receive chemo tomorrow.

Anyways, I have had to cancel out of every Christmas party and was starting to feel depressed. My dream job opened up today, and when I read the requirements, I started telling myself I couldn’t do that. Then I opened your email. Your email gave me hope. It’s exactly what I needed at this time. Knowing that you care is one of the greatest gifts a mother can get. I know that I wasn’t what you wanted as a mother when you were younger, but I always hoped that I would become the mother that you would know that you could count on through thick and thin and also be proud of some day. I love you, my daughter, with all my heart.

Fighting breast cancer is all about hope. Today you have given me the hope that I have fought off this disease and there isn’t anything that I can’t do – including being able to get and be successful at my dream job. Thank you for being my angel of hope today.

Love, Mom
xoxoxoxo



Reading this email made me cry. I don't know, sometimes I feel like I'm living in a dream.. as though life is just passing by, and I cannot change what is happening to it -- fate? Destiny.. maybe, but I do know this: I made my mom's day. Just when I think I'm having a bad day, I realize that other people (including my own mother) are way worse off than I am. It makes me happy (in depths of my heart) to know that I gave her a "pick me up" and made her week.

Below is the email I sent in response to hers:

Hi Mom,

I'm glad that you liked my blog. I'm sorry that you caught Tony's cold and was sick.. hopefully you can have chemo tomorrow. As for your dream job -- go for it.. I know that you are more than qualified to hold that position, and you need to always reach for your dreams (or like in Kris Allen's song, "live like your dying and know that it's not too late). :)

I love you mom, and I know that things were not always perfect, but there's always here and now (and the future) to make up for things that happened in the past. Although we cannot change things that have happened, we can learn from them and move on. Dwelling on them gets us no where, and what kind of life would we lead if we went no where?

I am glad I made your day. I love you and know that I am thinking about you.

xoxoo
Shana

..Glad to have made her day. :)

Pink Glove Dance

I was browsing www.youtube.com and came across this... this is amazing!! ;) Enjoy!

Live like we're dying...

As I was listening to the radio this past week, I had one of those "warm, fuzzy feelings" while listening to "Live Like We're Dying" song by Kris Allen. At first I was like "wow, this song is awesome," but after actually listening to the song (and looking up the lyrics) I truly appreciated how good this song actually was. Of course it made me think about how life's too short and to appreciate the things you have. I thought this song was perfect to add to the background of my picture movie thingamajig. (see below for lyrics). :)


My Beautiful Mother

Kris Allen - Live Like We’re Dying Lyrics

Sometimes we fall down and can’t get back up
We’re hiding behind skin that’s too tough
How come we don’t say I love you enough
Till it’s to late, it’s not too late

Our hearts are hungry for a food that won’t come
We could make a feast from these crumbs
And we’re all staring down the barrel of a gun
So if your life flashed before you
What would you wish you would’ve done

Yeah… gotta start
Lookin at the hand of the time we’ve been given here
This is all we got and we gotta start pickin it
Every second counts on a clock that’s tickin’
Gotta live like we’re dying

We only got
86 400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or throw it all away
We gotta tell ‘em that we love ‘em
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we’re dying

And if your plane fell out of the skies
Who would you call with your last goodbyes
Should be so careful who we live out our lives
So when we long for absolution
There’ll no one on the line

Yeah… gotta start
Lookin at the hand of the time we’ve been given here
This is all we got and we gotta start pickin it
Every second counts on a clock that’s tickin’
Gotta live like we’re dying

We only got
86 400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or throw it all away
We gotta tell ‘em that we love ‘em
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we’re dying

Like we’re dying oh - like we’re dying [x2]

We only got
86 400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or throw it all away
We gotta tell ‘em that we love ‘em
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live - like we’re dying

We never know a good thing till it’s gone
You never see a crash until it’s head on
All those people right when we’re dead wrong
You never know a good thing till it’s gone

Yeah… gotta start
Lookin at the hand of the time we’ve been given here
This is all we got and we gotta start livin it
Every second counts on a clock that’s tickin’
Gotta live like we’re dying

We only got
86 400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or throw it all away
We gotta tell ‘em that we love ‘em
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we’re dying

Like we’re dying oh - like we’re dying [x2]

We only got
86 400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or throw it all away
We gotta tell ‘em that we love ‘em
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we’re dying
Live like we’re dying
[Fade out]

Save the TaTa's Breast Walk!

So this is me and my mom at "Making Strides Against Breast Cancer" at the state house in Providence, RI. Pretty neat news: my mom was the top contributer for fundraising money, and won a trip to Arizona for a Breast Cancer Convention.


Anyways, this is the "glitz and glam" side of this disease.. it might look normal on the outside, but if you knew what she went through on a weekly basis, you would know how much of a toll the treatments have taken on her body -- but never her outlook on life.


Speaking of keeping a positive attitude on life, I don't know how she does it. I see it's hard on her, she has to stay away from a lot of public places and refrain from attending church & spiritual meetings -- which let me tell you, that has been her saving grace which she has used as a healing tool previously in her life. I don't know, I guess you have to be positive -- there's no ifs, ands or buts about it, but its hard not to say "why me," "F*ck this," or even "I'm giving up," which, of course, you can NOT even think about or say.


I do know this: ever since her diagnosis, she has always looked on the "bright side of things" and has kept her head up even when her day gets dark & stormy.

It's Been A While...

I know it has been a while... and I must admit, I thought I would be good at keeping up with this blog. Unfortunately, my pseudo ADD took over, and like many other things I tend to start and never finish, I never got around to continue with my blog.

However, due to my masters program, I am forced to make a blog and keep up with it.. so mind as well be this one right? Well, I guess it has been roughly 7 months since my previous post, and to be honest, a lot of things have happened with my mom.. perhaps I will post them collectively, or at random. I'm not sure, but what I am sure is that I have many stories to share.

First, I will post some pictures of my mom throughout her journey - see below:

This is my mom in August -- She had already undergone a mastectomy in June, and started her first round of Chemo.

Mom "making strides against breast cancer" at the breast cancer walk in Providence (October).

My brother & my mom -- it's funny because I'm not sure when this was taken, and my guess is that it was before she started Chemo (she shaved her head). As of right now, this is how her hair looks right now, as her hair starts to grow back in.